


Your Life For A Reason To Live

by gracefelly



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Alina Starkov is Still a Sun Summoner, Dark Alina Starkov, F/M, He makes her a little evil, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Explicit Sex, alina makes the darkling more human, anti-mal, but only sort of, like YA level sex scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 09:24:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21371869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracefelly/pseuds/gracefelly
Summary: An AU where Baghra never tells Alina the Darkling is evil and Alina makes her own decisions
Relationships: Mal Oretsev/Alina Starkov (past), The Darkling | Aleksander Morozova/Alina Starkov
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [allmadeofstardust](https://archiveofourown.org/users/allmadeofstardust/gifts).

> Thanks to whoviangoesthere for letting me rant to them about the Grisha trilogy. Title comes from them and their favorite band Area 11.   
Also I've only read Shadow and Bone.

The room was dark, the vanity still scattered with Genya’s handiwork. I hardly noticed, only wanting the comfort of my bed. I thought I would be happy to see Mal again, to know he was safe and alive. But I wasn’t. I felt nothing, well no that wasn’t accurate. I was hurt. I thought about the countless letters I’d sent to him and nothing came back, not even a whisper. But then tonight, he was here at the ball. He’d seen what I could do, the power I’d found but he wasn’t proud of me or happy for me. I thought ruefully back to when we were children. If I’d had that power then, well I had it, but I wasn’t using it, but if I did, I knew Mal would’ve been excited for me. Instead, he looked at me like I was nothing like my skills were nothing. He looked at me like I was a stranger, not the only family either of us had had back at Duke Keramasov’s.

He was the reason I’d pushed it down because I knew I would’ve had to leave, my only friend, only family for this. I cast my eyes around my darkened bedroom. The finery, the comfort, nothing I’d had back at the orphanage with Ana Kuya. Only cold looks and slaps when I’d been bad. I thought about the Grisha I’d met since coming to the Little Palace. Sure, some of them were not the nicest and some of them thought I was a curiosity, but they were different in the same way I was.

I had cried after Mal had spoken so cruelly but as I sat in my room, I felt all out of tears, my face stiff and cold. What a whirlwind, the night had started with so much excitement and promise. I’d felt powerful, beautiful, envied even as I entered on the arm of the Darkling, wearing  _ his _ colors. It was exhilarating being with him and not just because he was a living amplifier. He made me feel like myself, a self I didn’t know existed. But with a few words, I was back to feeling like the ugly, misplaced little girl, following after Mal, hoping he’d notice me as something more.

But I was done caring about Mal. I thought about the Darkling, the promise he whispered in my ear, and I felt my stomach flutter with nerves and anticipation. I’d always thought or maybe hoped that my first time would be with Mal, that he’d finally notice me and sweep me off my feet. But those were just dreams that had comforted me during my time in the cartography tent. It wasn’t real and it would never be real. 

I lit a lamp at the vanity and assessed my face. Genya’s fixes were still mostly present but my eyes were red and my cheeks tearstained. Genya was still downstairs at the ball and I didn’t want to interrupt, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell her  _ why _ I wanted her powers again. My black kefta was a little wrinkled from throwing myself into my room and I smoothed it out. I pinched my cheeks to bring back some color and wiped delicately at my eyes. I still wasn’t as pretty as I hoped but I looked less like I’d spent part of the evening crying. I was about to begin clearing off the vanity when there was a knock at the door. My nerves jumped again, and my hands felt clammy. I clenched my fists and took a steadying breath and I opened the door.

It wasn’t the Darkling.

“Mal.” I gasped. He looked worse for wear. His hair was messy and tangled like he’d raked his hands through it, and he gave off a general air of exhaustion and misery.

“Alina.” He said, quietly, eyes staring intently.

“What do you want?” I asked. I folded my arms around my chest and leaned against the door. I wasn’t about to let him into my room. A thought struck me then. “How did you even find me?” I asked.

“I bribed one of the guards, told him I was a Grisha,” Mal said with a shrug. “But Alina.” He stopped, looked down at his feet. “I’m sorry.” He said, the words coming out in a rush.

I sighed. “Ok, Mal.” I moved to close the door in his face.

“Wait.” He said, holding up a hand.

I stopped.

“I am so sorry, Alina. I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I didn’t mean it. I just-“ He broke off again.

I interceded. “Mal, what you said really hurt me, you, you’re my  _ family _ but you, you never answered my letters.” I held up a hand before he could interrupt to tell me he never got any of my letters. “You could have written to  _ me _ . You knew where I was.” I could feel tears prickling at the corners of my eyes and my throat closing but I forced it back down. “I just needed to know you were ok,” I said.

Mal looked stricken and pale. “Alina, I am so sorry. I – it was stupid. That’s my only excuse, I was an idiot and I’m sorry.”

“I just thought you’d be happy for me,” I said. I was still confused about his earlier behavior. I’d always wanted the best for him, shouldn’t he have wanted the same for me?

“I  _ am _ happy for you. A sun summoner! That’s amazing Alina. I knew you were destined for something better than cartography.” Mal said and I could hear the pride in his tone.

“But then why did you say all that stuff before? You certainly didn’t seem happy for me then.” I said.

“It wasn’t about  _ you _ Alina; it was about  _ him _ ,” Mal said, venom creeping into his tone.

“Him?” I said, confused. “You mean  _ the Darkling _ ?”

“He’s not a good person, Alina. He’s not human.” Mal said.

“He’s my friend.” I spat and saw Mal wince. “He’s  _ helped _ me, I wouldn’t even  _ be _ the Sun Summoner without him,” I said.

“Oh yes, he’s definitely  _ helped _ you. You two are very friendly.” Mal sneered.

I blushed. He hadn’t seen the Darkling and I, but he had seen the aftermath.  _ Oh, Saints _ . I thought.

Mal noticed my blush and his glare intensified. “So, it’s like that, is it?” He asked.

“What do you care?” I cried. I was so tired of all of this. “You don’t want me, why is it a crime if someone else does?” But as soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they were a mistake.

Mal stiffened, eyes going wide with shock. I knew my face was a mirror of his, neither of us knowing what to say, standing frozen in front of my room.

Mal was the first to speak, “Alina, what?”

“Never mind, forget I said anything.” I wanted to close the door in his face and retreat back to the safety of my room.

“Alina,” He started again, a look I’d never seen before on his face. “Do you want me?” He asked.

“No!” I said, but I was blushing, and my no did not sound convincing even to my own ears.

“Alina.” Mal crooned stepping forward.

Before I had time to blink his lips were on mine, body pressing me into the door. He kissed me slowly, and tentatively I kissed him back.

But there was nothing. I wanted to cry a little bit at that. Mal’s kiss was not unpleasant and I could tell he was skillful, but I felt nothing.

The kiss ended and we broke apart. Mal was staring at me and I was helpless not to stare back.

Suddenly I was glad he’d kissed me. All my inner turmoil was suddenly made clear as if I’d accidentally harnessed my ability right then and there. I didn’t want Mal, not like that, not like the way I wanted the Darkling. Mal was a remnant of my past, of my time with Ana Kuya and at the orphanage. He was always going to be part of my life and part of me was always going to love him but not like that not anymore. Part of me would also always be resentful towards him. I’d followed him around like a lovesick child for so long, it was humiliating. I’d pushed down my gift because of him because I didn’t want to leave him but part of me would always wonder what could have been.

I was so lost in my inner thoughts that I didn’t notice Mal leaning in to kiss me again until his lips were on mine.

I pushed at his chest and he backed off. I stared up at his face.

“No, Mal,” I said softly.

I saw his face change, he looked confused and a little lost.

“But you just said…” He trailed off.

“My feelings have changed,” I told him. “Part of me will always love you,” I said and watched hope return to his face. “But,” I quickly added, “Not like that. You’re my family Mal.” I said and I hoped it would be enough. I hoped he wasn’t hearing what I was carefully avoiding. But I knew he was. We knew each other too well for secrets.

“You want  _ him _ , don’t you?” He sneered. Mal’s face had changed again. He was glaring down at me, angrier than I’d ever seen him. Suddenly I realized why he’d said those things to me. He was jealous. A small part of me whispered,  _ good, now he knows how it feels _ . But I didn’t want him to be jealous. I didn’t want him to be mad at me.

“Mal, please,” I said.

“Admit it. You want him.” He said.

I sighed again. “Fine, I want him. Happy?”

Mal’s shoulders drooped. “No.” He said.

“I’m sorry, Mal,” I said, I patted his cheek, a comforting friendly gesture. That’s all it was supposed to be.

But Mal didn’t accept, he grasped my hand and pushed me back, trapping me against the door as he leaned down to kiss me again.

“Mal, stop!” I shouted. Everyone was still down at the ball, no one was coming.

“I can make you want me again.” Mal snarled, head bending towards me. Although my hands were trapped, I still had my legs and I kicked, my foot landing somewhere near his gut. A breath was pushed out of him and he doubled over, freeing me from against the wall. I made a mental note to thank Bodkin for his training before taking a defensive stance. I still had my mirrors hidden in the sleeves of my kefta. I didn’t want to use it against Mal but I was ready.

“Mal,” I said when he had regained his breath. “Mal I don’t want you like that. I’m sorry.” I told him.

“Alina, please.” He said. He made a move like he was going to reach for me again and I held out my hands.

“Mal, you saw what I could do earlier. I really don’t want to hurt you, but I think it’s time for you to go.” I said. My voice was calm and cold.

“Fine,” Mal said, venom back in his tone. He stared at me, not quite angrily as he had been but there was something dark still in his eyes, lips curled downwards. “But when he breaks your heart  _ don’t _ come crying back to me.” He said, a final parting shot before stalking off down the hall.

I slunk back into my room, slamming the door behind me. I wanted, no  _ needed _ to cry again but I was all out of tears. I was sad but I also felt free. I thought back to the day when Baghra helped me finally and fully harness my summoner ability and how free I’d felt, how whole. Mal was my family but right now he wasn’t my friend, not anymore, not for a while. Mal had given me a gift, unconsciously and not what he intended but his kiss had set me free. I was my own person now. Alina, the sun summoner. No longer Alina the orphan or Mal’s Alina. I smiled to myself. I knew the Darkling would be coming any time now, but I wasn’t nervous anymore. I was ready for all of it.

There was a knock at my door, and I felt a peculiar sense of déjà vu. Part of wondered if it was Mal coming back to yell at or kiss me some more. But part of me was certain who was at my door.

The Darkling stood there, still dressed in his black Kefta from earlier.  _ We match _ . His dark grey eyes stared at me intently. His gaze took in my appearance, traveling from the top of my head down to my feet before stopping at my face. He looked like he was studying me like he wanted to remember my face. I’d caught the Darkling studying the Grisha before like he wasn’t sure what to make of us like we were a project or a puzzle he wanted to solve. But this was different. The Darkling’s stare dropped to my mouth and his eyes narrowed. I took a step backward.

“Alina.” He said, voice quiet and slightly lethal. He followed me into my room.

“Y..y..yes?” I said anticipation and nerves making me stumble over my words.

One of the Darkling’s hands reached towards my face, cupping it, his thumb trailing down to stroke my lips. I shivered.

“What happened?” He said, voice still quiet and dangerous.

I didn’t want to say but I also knew I couldn’t lie. Not with him staring at me like he could read my mind, and stare into my soul.

“My friend came to umm visit?” I said in a rush, turning it into a question.

“Mhmm.” The Darkling said, raising his eyebrows. “And did your friend  _ touch _ you?” He asked.

I didn’t answer, wasn’t sure I could form words.

The Darkling leaned further into my space, his hand was still on my cheek, caressing it with feather-light touches.

“Did your friend  _ kiss _ you?” He asked, voice close to my ear.

I nodded.

“Did you like it?” He asked.

“N…no,” I whispered.

“What about  _ my _ kisses?” He asked silkily. He was still speaking quietly, voice close to my ear. His lips touched at the lobe gently while he waited for my answer.

“Yes,” I said, even quieter this time but I knew he heard it.

“I’m sorry, Alina, what was that?” The Darkling asked, moving away from me this time. He sounded detached, almost bored.

“Yes! I liked when  _ you _ kissed me.” I burst out. “I didn’t like the other kisses,” I said, quietly, almost to myself.

The Darkling was back in my personal space then and he longer looked calm  _ or _ detached.

“Did he force you?” He asked and I could hear the rage in his tone.

“Kind of?” I said and the air dropped a few degrees.

The Darkling cursed in a language I’d never heard before and turned away from me.

When he spoke again his voice was calmer but still angry. “Who was it?” He asked.

“I’m not telling you that,” I said. Although I was still upset with Mal and hurt at his earlier behavior, I didn’t want him to die and I knew there was murder in the Darkling’s eyes.

It was futile not to tell him, I knew the Darkling could figure it out with his powers that I still didn’t fully understand. But I was holding firm in this.

“I kicked him,” I said.

“Good.” The Darkling said, satisfaction creeping into his tone.

“And I threatened to do worse if he didn’t leave me alone,” I said, pride creeping into  _ my _ voice.

“Good.” The Darkling said again.

We both fell silent. The Darkling was staring at me again.

“Why?” I said, finally breaking the interminable silence.

His brow furrowed but he said nothing.

“Why  _ me _ ?” I asked. Why had he kissed me, chosen me, why was he currently in my room? But I didn’t say all that to him. I didn’t want to look like a fool.

“Alina,” He said. “You’re the sun summoner, you were made for me.” He said, simply.

“That still doesn’t answer my question,” I said.

The Darkling walked forward until he was in my space again. He cupped my face in his hands but did not move to do more.

“I’ve been alive for so long.” He said. “Longer than you can possibly imagine. I’ve seen Grisha come and go, I’ve seen the shadow fold and empires rise and fall and rise and fall. But throughout it all, I was searching for something else.” He said. He released my face and began to circle around me as he spoke. “I didn’t know what I was searching for, not even if it was a person or a thing or a place. It was maddening. I was desperate.” He told me, coming back to stand in front of me. He didn’t reach out though.

“But then.” He stopped, took a breath. “Then you took out a flock of volcra. I thought it was just some Grisha we hadn’t tested. Some slip through the cracks you know. I assumed people were wrong about what they’d seen but I needed to know anyway. So, I had you brought to me.” He smiled a small secret smile almost to himself before continuing. “The generals said it was a little girl, just some peasant who’d taken out the volcra. But then they brought you in. You were bloody and bruised and so forlorn looking. But you were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. And you know why?” He asked.

I shook my head. I almost couldn’t breathe.

“ _ You _ , Alina were the thing I’d been looking for, looking for centuries and you were standing right in front of me. I couldn’t believe it. This girl, you were my missing piece. Of course, I wanted you. Of course, I chose you.” He said. “There was no choice. You are my other half.” He said it like it was that simple.

Part of me still couldn’t believe it because part of me would always be the ugly orphan girl, the one never good enough for anybody, not Mal, not Ana Kuya, no one.

But a bigger part of me did believe him.

“I-.” I started to say. But my words broke off as the Darkling pulled me into him, lips coming down on mine in a surprisingly soft but forceful kiss.

He broke it, breathing slightly heavily. “Alina, do you want this? Me?” He asked.

In answer, I kissed him again.

We walked back toward my bed, the Darkling trailing kisses down my jaw into my throat as he tugged at the kefta.

I could hear him murmuring against my neck.

“Saints, Alina you don’t know how you looked when you walked in wearing  _ my _ color.” He breathed against my ear.

“Hmmm?” I murmured, I was proud that I could say anything, being lost in the sensations and pleasure.

“You’re mine.” He said and began working at my kefta again.

His kisses trailed further downwards as more of clothes began to come off. My hands gripped at his shoulders and made vain attempts to free him from his own clothing, but I was beginning to give up. The Darkling was kissing everywhere his lips could reach, his body pressing me into the mattress. I could feel little bursts of pleasure ricocheting through me.

“Not fair.” I panted as I realized the Darkling had succeeded in getting me naked while he was still wearing his (now rumpled) kefta.

He grinned at me, but his grin faded as he stared. I felt the urge to cover myself and I could feel my blush working its way from my ears down to my chest.

There was hunger in the Darkling’s gaze. But he lifted himself off me in order to remove his own clothes.

“Alina,” He said, pausing for a moment. “You know what comes after this right?” He asked. I could almost swear he looked nervous. But that was ridiculous. The darkling didn’t get nervous.

I rolled my eyes. “You know before this I was in the army, not much privacy there. Everyone knew what was going on.” I said and that seemed to satisfy him.

The Darkling finished removing his clothes and bent back towards me.

“Wait,” I said and he froze. “I, um, I don’t know what to call you,” I said, weakly. Calling him the Darkling felt so cold, clinical.

The Darkling looked at me for a moment, his expression changing from desire to something softer.

“You can call me Aleksander.” He said and silenced me with his mouth.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up feeling a body pressed against me. I panicked for a moment, forgetting who exactly was in bed with me. The Darkling murmured something I couldn’t hear against my shoulder blade and I relaxed, falling back asleep.

* * *

The next morning the bed was empty except for me. The Darkling was gone, his side of the bed not even rumpled. He’d left no trace of himself behind. In a daze, I got out of bed and walked over to the bathing chamber. I washed quickly before throwing on my clothes. Bodkin had given us the day off to recuperate from the party and sleep in, but I felt restless. I made my way down to the dining area, my stomach rumbling with hunger and nerves. The Darkling didn’t normally eat with us but perhaps this time, perhaps after last night he’d make an exception.

The dining hall was empty except for a few Grisha I didn’t know sitting at their own table. They didn’t acknowledge me when I came in and I sat at the usual table, eating quietly. I wondered where Genya had gone off to, hopefully, she’d enjoyed the party and didn’t have to serve the royals, but I wasn’t hopeful.

Although Bodkin had given us the day off, I knew Baghra would want to see me. She probably had some criticism over my performance or some other exercise to put me through.

I trudged over to her hut, body still sore and stiff from yesterday. The hut was dark and there was no sign off life. Perhaps Baghra wanted me to light it with my powers.

I knocked on the door.

No answer.

I knocked again.

No answer.

I opened the door and gasped. The hut was empty, not just of Baghra but of any belongings. Baghra was gone and gone for good.


	2. Chapter 2

I sunk to the ground, my legs weak and unable to hold myself up. First, the Darkling had abandoned me and now Baghra. Was I truly a lost cause? I knew the Darkling had been looking for an amplifier for me but maybe he’d decided _I_ wasn’t worth the effort. Maybe last night… I blushed. I’d enjoyed it but maybe he hadn’t. I didn’t know a lot about being a Grisha or a sun summoner, but I knew you didn’t just abandon someone after a night like that. Mal had always stayed until morning with his lovers. I knew because a few times I’d come across them, and then had immediately felt the need to wash out my eyes. But that was neither here nor there. The Darkling hadn’t stayed until morning and now Baghra was gone.

I somehow made my way back to the Little Palace, though I don’t remember how I got there. I was heading for the library when Genya stopped me.

“Alina!” She said, almost yelled since I hadn’t noticed her standing there. “I was just looking for you.” She said.

“Oh,” I replied. I was still in too much shock to say more than that.

Genya peered at me. I knew my face still looked good from her ministrations the night before, but I didn’t feel good.

“Are you okay, Alina?” She asked tentatively.

“Umm,” I said, not sure how to answer. The truth was I wasn’t okay. So much had happened between last night and right now but I wasn’t sure how to tell Genya that.

“Come!” She said, grasping my hands and tugging me down the hall behind her.

“Where are we going?” I asked but Genya did not answer, just walked purposefully down the hall.

She finally stopped and gave me a hard stare. “You look terrible.” She said and I winced.

“You’re the one who ‘helped’ with my face.” I hissed at her.

She pursed her lips. “You look terrible in a different way.” She said. “You look like you’re exhausted but not just on the surface.”

“Uh ok,” I said but I didn’t protest. I felt like I’d aged ten years overnight.

“The royals gave me the day off, too much kvas and champagne.” She whispered conspiratorially. “I’m needed back by this evening to attend the queen but right now she’s asleep. And,” Genya shrugged, “She won’t want to see _me_ right now.”

We were back outside, standing near the gates of the Little Palace.

“Bodkin gave all of you the day off and I _know_ you aren’t just going to spend the day in the library,” Genya said.

“Actually, I was, I still have a lot of catching up to do,” I said.

“Nope,” Genya said popping her p. “_We_ are going to Os Alta.” She said with a surprising amount of finality.

“Genya, you know I can’t leave the palace grounds. The Darkling forbid it, it’s too dangerous for me.” I told her but she wasn’t listening.

“Alina, it’s _fine_. The Darkling isn’t even here, he disappeared sometime last night in the middle of the party and no one has seen him since.” Genya said.

I blushed, knowing exactly _where_ the Darkling had disappeared to during the ball. But I frowned, though he’d spend most of the night with me he _had_ disappeared sometime this morning and I had no idea where he was.

“And,” Genya continued, “Everyone is still drunk or asleep. No one will notice we’re gone.”

I hesitated. I wanted to explore Os Alta. Since coming to the Little Palace all I’d seen was Baghra’s hut and the summoners pavilion. I was bored.

“Ok.” I said, “But we can only stay for an hour. I do need to study.”

“Yes!” Genya clapped her hands in delight. “This is going to be so much fun.”

We took a small, nondescript carriage from the Little Palace to the main square in Os Alta. The weather was cold, wind whipping our scarves around our faces, but I barely felt it. There were more people than I’d ever seen before in my life, smells and colors mingling together.

Genya murmured something to the driver and off he went leaving the two of us by ourselves.

Genya turned to me, “A winter market has been set up here would you like to see?” She asked.

“Sure,” I said and she pulled me to closest vendor stall.

Vendors were selling mouthwatering foods, blini, honey pies, cooked meats and steaming cups of tea and cider. Other stalls sold toys made from wood and carved with flowers or shapes. Another stall sold beautiful, delicate scarves that looked so light that they would float away. Everywhere I turned there was a new treasure to peer over or a new scent to smell. I was a little overwhelmed by it all and while Genya bought herself a delicate scarf I contented myself with simply taking it all in. Eventually, it became too much and Genya and I both bought honey cakes and mugs of sweetened black tea and stood beside the square to eat and watch the crowds gather.

“So,” Genya said. “What happened?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I know you better than that. Something happened last night, and I think it has to do with the Darkling.” She said.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said but I didn’t sound convincing even to my own ears.

“Please.” She said, with a small eye roll. “I saw you leave and then the Darkling followed shortly after. He came back but you never did. And then _he_ left again, and I didn’t see you until this morning.”

“So?” I asked. “I’m sure the Darkling is very busy and has better things to do than stay at the party.”

“Maybe so, but does he have better things to do than to spend time with you? You _are_ his sun summoner.” Genya pointed out.

“Fine,” I said. “If I admit he was with me, will that make you happy?”

“Oh yes,” Genya said. “But that still doesn’t explain why you looked like Zoya had peed in your kvas this morning.”

“Ugh, that mental image.” I shuddered and Genya laughed.

“Don’t dodge the question, Alina. What happened?” She asked and I realized how forceful she could be when she wanted something.

I sighed. “He came to my room last night but when I woke up, he was gone. It was like he was never there.”

“Oh, Alina. I’m sorry.” Genya said sympathetically. “But it doesn’t make sense.”

“What?” I asked, “What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen him staring at you and it’s different from the way he looks at the rest of us. If it wasn’t the Darkling, we were talking about I’d say he looks like a normal boy in love.” She said.

I had no idea how to respond to that. The Darkling had admitted some of his feelings to me but when he hadn’t stuck around this morning it left me unsure. But now Genya was telling me she thought he could be in love with me. It was a lot to take in.

“I’m cold,” Genya announced. “I’m going to see if we can find a ride back to the Little Palace. Stay here.” She told me and walked away. I was grateful to be alone. I had a lot to think about.

I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts I hardly noticed the market emptying out as the wind got frostier and the sky got darker.

“Hey!” A voice said near me. “It’s the sun girl.”

I looked up in alarm.

Two men were standing in front of me. They were smiling but they did not look friendly.

“Come on, sun girl. Show us what you can do.” One of them said, moving closer.

“No thanks,” I said, backing away slowly.

“It’s winter and cold. A little sun would warm us right up.” Said the other man.

“Please,” I said. “I just want to go home.” I hadn’t thought to bring my mirrors, but I could feel Botkin’s knife in my back pocket. I’d been training with Bodkin and had improved a lot, but I still wasn’t good enough to take on two adult men.

Genya took that moment to come back. “I found a cart that’s going past the Little Palace and said we could ride with them we just…” She stopped, staring between the three of us.

“Well, looks like the sun girl has a friend. What can _you_ do?” One of the men asked.

Genya glared. “Leave us alone.” She said.

The other man walked towards her, “We just want to _see_.” He said. He gripped Genya’s shoulder.

Genya ducked from under his grasp, spinning gracefully away from him. The loss of her body made the man stumble and nearly fall onto the cobblestones.

“Grisha bitch.” He spat at Genya. All drunken playfulness was gone from their gaze. Now, they were angry.

The one Genya had embarrassed advanced on her, menace in his eyes.

Genya froze. I realized she didn’t have the benefit of training with Bodkin.

“Hey!” I shouted. “Leave her alone.” Involuntarily my magic spun out, lighting the area above us. The two men were distracted from their pursuit of Genya to stare wonderingly up at the light. I used the distraction to yank Genya to my side and pull out Botkin’s knife.

“Here.” I thrust it at her. I didn’t have my mirrors but I still had my power. That would have to be enough for now.

I took a defensive stance, slightly in front of Genya.

“See.” One of the men said. “Was that so hard? We just wanted a bit of sunlight.”

“Please,” I said again. “Just let us go home.”

“No. That one,” said one of the men, gesturing to Genya, “Owes us.”

“W-what do you want?” I asked, warily. I looked around but the square was dark and mostly empty. We couldn’t outrun them and anyway I had no idea where to go. I could end up getting Genya and I hopelessly lost somewhere in Os Alta.

“We just want a little fun.” Said one.

“I can give you sunlight.” I offered.

“Not that kind of fun, sun girl.” Said the other.

“We heard Grisha girls were easy.” Said one.

“That one looks like she knows her way around.” Said the other, nodding at Genya.

I saw Genya flinch beside me.

“And this one,” Said one of them, “She’s not as pretty but she’d keep a man’s bed warm.” And he laughed like he was hilarious.

“Enough.” Said a new voice and we all turned.

The Darkling stood there, looking calm and cold as ever. I barely noticed that Ivan was standing next to him.

“Who are you?” One of the men said.

“Yeah. We saw them first. Go away.” Said the other.

“Leave us.” Said the Darkling, voice commanding and dark.

“You have the Grisha bitches when we’re done.” Said one.

Between one blink and the next, the square became dark. I could not see or hear anything for several moments.

The Darkling’s voice broke through the blackness. “Alina.” He said. And I knew what I wanted. I grasped at a thread of light and the shadows fell away.

The men were gone, no trace of them left. I knew not to ask what happened to them. Part of me was even glad, relieved.

The Darkling was all business. He handed Genya off to Ivan with a muttered, “get her back safely” and walked us briskly to his own waiting carriage. The darkling was cold and detached as he watched me settle in. However, as soon as the doors closed, and the carriage began to roll all of his earlier calmness seeped away.

“Alina.” He was not shouting but there was anger and worry in his tone. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I said, proud that my voice only shook a little.

“Good.” He said but sounded more agitated. “_What_ were you _thinking_?”

He did not give me a chance to answer. “You _know_ how dangerous it is outside the palace and you went anyway.” He raked a hand through his hair, sending the dark strands into disarray.

“I just wanted.” I began but he cut me off.

“Saints, we’re lucky they were just a pair of drunken fools. They could have _killed_ you. They could have been Fjerdans or mercenaries from Shu Han. Saints, Alina.” The Darkling said, dark grey eyes boring into me.

“I thought it would be fun,” I whispered.

That seemed to set him off further. “Fun!” He gasped out, “Fun? Did Genya force you to go out? If so I will have words.”

“No!” I said, interrupting him. “Don’t punish Genya. _I _wanted to explore Os Alta. The rest of the Grisha get to leave the Little Palace.” I knew I sounded petulant but everything from last night and this morning had come rushing back.

“It’s too dangerous for you out there.” The Darkling said wearily. “You’re too important Alina.”

“If I’m so _important_ why did you leave before I woke up?” I spat and immediately wanted to take it back. I hadn’t expected to see the Darkling for a while and had been planning to be cool and indifferent, but my big mouth had other plans.

His eyes widened. He reached toward me but I stared resolutely out the window.

“You left me and now Baghra is gone and it just feels like am I even important?” I said, still refusing to face him. I didn’t want to see the pity in his gaze as he finally admitted that last night was a mistake that he regretted.

“Alina,” he breathed. He’d moved to sit next to me, one hand on my arm. “Look at me, please.”

I turned to face him.

“I’m sorry.” He said, regretfully. “I didn’t mean to hurt your pride.”

“Okay,” I said, not sure I believed his apology.

“Can I tell you a secret?” He said.

I nodded.

“You are the first person I’ve spent the night with.”

“Ever?” I asked, incredulous.

“Ever.” He confirmed, a small smile playing at his lips.

“But why did you leave?” I asked. “I thought you um had a good time?” I could feel myself blushing again.

“I, uh I did.” The Darkling said. If I didn’t know any better, I could’ve sworn he was blushing as well.

“So?” I asked.

“All of this is new to me Alina, caring about someone other than myself.” He said. “I guess I was unsure as well.”

“I guess we’ll just have to trust each other,” I said.

The Darkling suddenly went stiff. He moved back to his seat of the carriage.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He did not respond.

“Aleksander?” I tried. He’d liked when I called him that last night.

He shook his head.

I looked down at my lap hurt.

“Sorry,” I whispered.

The Darkling was suddenly in my space, taking my lips in a hard kiss. As soon as I started to respond, he broke it, moving away from me.

“I need a moment,” he bit out and we were silent for the rest of the ride.

As soon as the carriage stopped the Darkling was practically throwing himself out. He stopped to help me down and then stalked off.

“Take her to my room,” He threw casually back at one of the palace guards milling about.

I watched with confusion as he disappeared.


	3. Chapter 3

I’d thought my room was beautiful and grand, but it had nothing on the Darkling. He did not have a single room but a suite. It was also different than I expected. It was light and airy and comfortable. There were overstuffed chairs and sofas. Little end tables with lamps stacked on top of books. I’d imagined a cold, mausoleum but this looked comfortable and lived in.

I sat gingerly on one of the sofas, not sure what to do. The guard has escorted me to the Darkling’s rooms and then left me alone. My stomach rumbled. The honey cakes Genya and I had eaten felt so long ago.

_Genya_. I thought. _I hope she’s okay_. I knew the Darkling had been upset that we’d snuck off to Os Alta but I hoped he wouldn’t punish Genya. She really was my only friend.

I was tired, exhaustion settling bone-deep into my limbs, but I couldn’t sleep. I was too upset from earlier. I didn’t want to admit it but maybe the Darkling _had_ been right when he kept me inside the walls of the Little Palace. But that still didn’t explain why he’d dumped me in his room and then _left_.

I walked to the door and peeked my head out. Two guards were stationed there. Neither one spared me a glance.

I cleared my throat.

No response.

“Can-can I go back to my room?” I asked.

“No miss.” One of them said, not even turning his head.

“You’re to stay inside miss.” Said the other.

I sighed and walked back into the room. If I was stuck here, I might as well explore.

The room I’d been left in was clearly the main room, the area where the Darkling could receive visitors if he wished. I moved to the next room. There was a large, polished wooden desk in one corner with two chairs slotted in front. The room was smaller than the one before it, clearly it was the Darkling’s study. I felt like an intruder and quickly moved on to the next room. The next one was the bathing chamber. _Saints I wanted a bath_ I thought but wasn’t sure if it was allowed. The next was the bedroom. The bed was massive, neatly made and stacked with pillows and blankets. I didn’t stick around and wandered back into the main room.

I’d just sat down when the door opened with a soft click.

The Darkling stood there looking as exhausted as I felt.

Neither of us spoke. The Darkling was staring at me, face inscrutable.

“Hello,” I said, finally breaking the silence.

“Alina.” He said.

“Do you mind explaining to me what exactly is going on?” I said. I was determined to be calm about this, but I could hear the hysteria rising in my tone.

“Yes.” The Darkling surprised me by saying. “You deserve to know the truth.”

I sat there, waiting.

“I need to tell you about the Shadow Fold.”

That was not what I’d been expecting.

“You said we should trust each other so I am. I’m trusting you with this information, Alina because of who you are. Who you are to _me_.” He said.

“I…okay,” I said, feeling like I needed to say something.

“You are the sun summoner, but do you know what I am?” He asked.

“You’re an amplifier,” I said.

“Yes. That’s true. But it’s more than that.” He said.

“What then?” I asked.

“I told you earlier that you were a missing piece, the thing I’d been searching for, for centuries. We are two halves of the same whole, Alina.” He said.

“I still don’t understand.”

He sighed. “I am a shadow summoner.”

And suddenly everything made sense. Of course, he’d been searching for me. He was shadow and I was light. That was why he needed me. And there was more, I knew, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it.

The Darkling was staring at me patiently, waiting for me.

“You-you created the shadow fold didn’t you?” I whispered.

He nodded.

“You’re the black heretic.” I continued. I couldn’t stop.

He nodded again.

Hurt flamed through me and I knew if I wasn’t careful, I light up the entire room. I tamped down on my powers.

“All this time you’ve been _lying_ to me,” I said. “You let me think you were _good_. But that’s not true is it?” I asked.

He didn’t respond.

“_Is it!_” I yelled.

“Alina, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about me, my powers earlier.” He said.

“I trusted you,” I told him. “I came to Os Alta, studied with Baghra, trained with Bodkin all to become the sun summoner like _you_ wanted and you lied to me.”

“I’m trusting you now.” He said, quietly.

“But there’s more isn’t there?” I asked. “More you haven’t or won’t tell me.” Suddenly a thought struck me. “What about the shadow fold?” I asked. I felt sick. “You don’t want me to destroy it,” I said. It wasn’t a question.

The Darkling shook his head.

“Why?” I asked.

“I can’t tell you that yet, Alina.” He said and I wanted to scream.

“Why!” I shouted.

He simply stared at me. “You’re not ready, it’s too much responsibility. I’ve been carrying that for hundreds of years.” He said.

“You still don’t trust me,” I said getting out of my seat. I didn’t want to be there anymore. I needed space.

“I need to go,” I announced and the Darkling stood up.

“No, Alina.” He said. “We need to talk.”

“We _did_ talk and then I found out you’ve been lying to me this entire time so I don’t really want to talk anymore.”

“I can’t let you leave.” The Darkling said.

He might be the summoner of shadows but more importantly, he was an amplifier.

I took a defensive stance.

“Let me go,” I said, words reminiscent of the ones I’d said to the drunks earlier. I was willing to fight him, and he knew it. I wouldn’t win and I would probably injure both of us in the process, but I wasn’t willing to sit there and talk, not anymore.

The Darkling sighed. “No Alina.” And the room went black.

He was waiting for me to use my powers to light up the room and disperse the shadows. That’s what he was counting on.

But I’d gotten used to this kind of dark. So, I did the unexpected.

I ran for the door, feeling about in the darkness until my hand closed over the doorknob. I yanked it open and ran.

I could hear the Darkling shouting behind me, “Alina!” but I did not stop. The only thing on my mind was an escape.

The one flaw in my plan was where to go. I couldn’t go to my room, that was the first place he’d look. Staying inside the Little Palace was also dangerous. I could try the Banya but that would put the rest of the Grisha at the Darkling’s mercy.

And then I realized where I needed to go. I headed towards the Summoners Pavilion, heading for Baghra’s hut. The Darkling would eventually find me there, but when he did I’d be ready. I was so caught up in just getting to the pavilion I didn’t notice the people coming up behind me.

“Quiet now,” Said a voice and then I was enveloped by an unfamiliar darkness.


	4. Chapter 4

I came to in an unfamiliar room. I’d been laid down on top of a pile of soft furs, the room lit by a small lamp.

I jerked upright. I wasn’t in Baghra’s hut or the Little Palace anymore. I’d been kidnapped and I probably wasn’t even in Ravka anymore.

I looked around at my surroundings. The cabin was small and sparse.

“Oh, this is bad,” I said out loud. I had a feeling whoever else was around was not Grisha.

“Looks like the Grisha whore is awake.” Said a man entering the room. He was short and blonde with a full beard and an irritated glare on his face.

“Who are you?”

“A Fjerdan who hates _people_ like you.” He sneered. “Your kind is evil.”

“What do you want from me?” I asked.

“I want your kind wiped out. You are all a bunch of witches being led by demons.” He said. He looked like he would say more but another man stuck his head in.

“Ruben!” The man said, before lapsing into a language full of harsh vowels and consonants that I didn’t understand.

The man in my room – Ruben – let out a string of angry words before following the other man out.

“Stay put!” He yelled at me and the door slammed behind him.

I could hear their footsteps fade and I quietly opened the door, which hadn’t been locked. Years of sneaking around the orphanage and hiding from Ana Kuya had prepared me well. I was soundless as I crept outside.

I did not recognize my surroundings, but they looked vaguely familiar. I also knew there was a lot of ground to cover between Os Alta and the Fjerdan border.

I could see Ruben talking vigorously with other men and he did not seem happy. He was gesturing to a cart and a team of horses. Evidently there was some sort of delay.

_Stall them_. I thought, but I wasn’t sure how.

Ruben stalked back toward the cabin which I realized was less of a cabin and more of a simple hut.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked although I had a feeling. I just needed to keep him talking.

“You’re coming back to Fjerda where you can pay for your crimes.” He said.

“Why me?” I asked.

“You’re consorting with that _demon_, both of you are evil!” Ruben said.

“I’m not evil,” I said. I just needed to keep him talking.

“Your power goes against everything, it’s against the natural order. No human should be able to do what your kind does.” Ruben sneered, sitting on a stool in front of me. He took out a knife and began polishing it with his wool coat.

“I still don’t know who _you_ are,” I said, trying to steer the conversation into more neutral territory.

“I’m a druskelle.” Ruben said, pride evident in his tone.

“What is that?” I asked.

“I’m a witch-hunter, I come from a long line of witch-hunters. We’ve been tracking and killing Grisha for years.” He said.

“But why?” I asked. “What have the Grisha actually done to you?”

“They _exist_!” He shouted.

I inched back in shock. I’d known the other nations bordering Ravka had different views on Grisha but I’d never expected this hatred. Ruben hated _me_ personally, I could see it in his eyes.

“What’s going to happen now?” I asked. I was running out of things to talk about.

“We’re going to parade you naked through the streets of Djerholm and then we’re going to tie you to a pyre and burn you like the witch you are.” He said. “And then we’re going to come back. Getting you was _easy_. We’re going to grab as many Grisha as we can and burn them all.”

I stared at him in open-mouthed horror.

“None of us will rest until all Grisha are wiped out,” Ruben said. His blue eyes were lit with fervor. I was going to die unless I did something.

“How are you going to do all that if you can’t even fix a cart?” I taunted at him.

He slapped me quick and hard across the face. I tasted blood.

“Be quiet.” He said.

“Why?” I asked, still defiant. “You already told me you’re going to kill me. There’s nothing left to threaten me with.”

He stood up. “You think so?” He asked. “I have to make sure you’re still alive when we get to Djerholm. I didn’t say nothing about your condition.”

I gulped.

“Grisha bitch.” He muttered.

I wasn’t sure what to do. I had my power, though it felt weak and if I couldn’t summon it, I’d just make the Fjerdans angry for reminding them I was Grisha. I had Botkin’s knife still tucked beneath my clothes. I could use that in case Ruben thought to hit me again.

I wiggled in my seat. Ruben wasn’t paying attention, bored with my silence and finding his own weapon more interesting.

I’d just gotten ahold of the knife when Ruben glanced up.

“What are you doing?” He glared at me.

“N-nothing,” I said, pretending to shiver. “I’m cold.”

“Too bad.” He said. But the knife must have glinted or something because his gaze arrowed in on it.

“A knife.” He sneered. He stood up from his seat. “What were you going to use that for? Going to kill us all with that puny little thing?” He asked, advancing on me.

“Don’t!” I said, holding the knife in front of me as protection.

“Hah!” He said. “Stupid little Grisha.” He grabbed for the knife.

Perhaps he though I didn’t know how to use it or that I just relied on my ‘demon powers’ but he reeled back in shock when I sliced at his face.

“You bitch!” He roared, blood dripping down the cut below his eye. A fist reached out and cuffed me in the jaw. I could feel more hits raining down on me but blessedly I passed out.

I came to in the same cabin, this time it was empty. There was so sign of Ruben anywhere. I stumbled outside; legs weak. No one except the horses and the cart was there.

I looked around in rising panic. What had happened? Where was everyone? I didn’t have time for wondering. I couldn’t waste this opportunity to escape. I approached one of the horses, but it reared back, away from me.

Then I heard the sounds of horses approaching behind me. I began to panic. I darted towards one of the trees, intending to hide when the sounds stopped.

They’d found me.

I turned around.

It was not more Fjerdans coming to finish the job. It was the Darkling.

I was so relieved I felt like I could pass out again, but I remained resolutely on my feet.

The Darkling dismounted and approached me slowly.

“Alina, are you okay?” He asked. It seemed like he would always be asking that question. He took in my split lip and his eyes narrowed.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” I said. “What happened?”

Surprise flashed across the Darkling’s face. “You don’t know?” He asked.

I shook my head.

We’ve been searching for you since last night.” The Darkling told me. “I’ve had people looking everywhere.”

“How did you find me?” I asked.

“We were coming this way, beginning to comb through the forests when there was a huge blast of sunlight.” The Darkling said and quirked a small smile. “We figured it was probably you.”

“I’m glad you found me,” I said. “But I still don’t understand. The Fjerdans had me, they were planning on taking me back with them to Djerholm. What happened?” I asked. “Did you do something?”

The Darkling shook his head. His voice softened. “Alina, I think you – your blast of light may have.” He stopped. “You’re the Sun Summoner, you can control and bend light. The light we saw, even from far away was blinding. Being that close to it, they may have simply combusted.” He said.

“Combusted!” I asked incredulously. “I- that’s not possible is it?”

“I think it is.” The Darkling said. “And Alina?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t want to alarm you but your hair is white.” The Darkling told me. I looked down and gasped. My hair _was_ white, changed from the dull brown it used to be.

All at once the stress from the last few days caught up with me and I burst into tears.

The Darkling seemed to take this in stride.

“Come, Alina.” He said, wrapping a comforting hand around my shoulder and guiding me to one of the waiting horses.

* * *

As soon as we returned to the Little Palace I demanded a bath.

“Of course.” The Darkling said. “But in my room.”

I nodded, too tired to fight him on this. Part of me was still angry that he’d lied to me and part of me did not want to care.

I bathed and changed, feeling much more refreshed. The Darkling had left a plate of food for me, same as the food served in the dining hall but I gobbled it all down gratefully.

I was finally ready to face the Darkling.

“So,” I said, strolling into the main room where the Darkling was seated on one of the couches. “Am I staying here or am I allowed to return to my room?” I asked.

“This is your room, Alina.” The Darkling said. “I had your things brought over earlier.”

“I don’t get a choice?” I asked. But I knew the answer.

“No, Alina.” The Darkling said. “You can stay here, stay with me or you can go back to your room and have a guard with you at every moment. _That_ is your choice.” He said.

“Fine,” I huffed. I liked the Darkling’s rooms anyway.

“How are you feeling? After earlier?” He asked.

“I’m not sure,” I answered honestly. I wasn’t sure about anything not anymore.

“Are you still angry with me?” The Darkling asked.

“Yes, no, kind of,” I said.

He smiled at that.

“Can you tell me about the shadow fold?” I asked. My question seemed to surprise us both.

“What would you like to know?” The Darkling asked, carefully.

“I want you to be honest with me,” I said. “I might not be ready, but that’s my decision to make, not yours.”

The Darkling nodded. “It won’t be easy though.” He said.

“But we’re equals, aren’t we?” I asked. “That’s what the black kefta is for, and what you said about us being two halves of the same whole. I’m supposed to be with you – beside you?” I blushed a little at that.

The Darkling stared at me. “I should have been honest with you from the start.”

“Yes,” I said. “But you’re going to be honest with me now, right?”

He nodded again.

“Ok, first question. Why did you create it?” I asked.

“It wasn’t on purpose.” The Darkling said. “I don’t even remember creating it, I think it was like what happened today when you lost control of your abilities. It just happened.”

I nodded. That made sense.

“Do you actually want me to destroy the Shadow Fold?” I asked.

“No.” The Darkling said. “I need it.”

I was not surprised by his answer. Whatever the Shadow Fold was for was used for could not be good.

“What do you want me to do then?” I asked. It was the moment of truth.

“I need you to destroy the volcra.” He said and that I was not expecting.

“What?” I asked. “Why?”

“I cannot use the Shadow Fold if the volcra are there. They will attack me and everything around it." He said

“And what do you plan to do with the shadow fold?” I asked.

The Darkling’s faced closed. “Alina, please. Don’t ask me that.”

“You promised you’d be honest with me,” I said. We’d been getting so close. I was finally starting to understand him, to know him.

The Darkling stood up and began to pace. “Alina. You and I, our powers. They’re something special. Something special we can do together.” He said.

But I didn’t understand. “Our powers, shadow, and light. What _exactly_ will we do together?” I asked.

“We can bring balance. We can save the Grisha.” He said. “We can rule.”

“How?” I asked. “What about the king?”

The Darkling scoffed. “He doesn’t care. He’d rather throw parties and have Grisha do pretty party tricks or warm his bed or fight _his_ wars.”

I winced at the mention of Genya. I’d heard her complain about the royals countless times. But the king was still the king.

“I want to see it,” I said.

The Darkling look surprised.

“There’s something I’m missing, something you’re _still_ not telling me. So, I want to see it.” I said.

“Okay.” He agreed with a sigh.

“Now, I need some sleep,” I said, standing up.

The Darkling made a move to follow me.

“Alone,” I said and he frowned. “I can go back to my room?” I offered.

The Darkling shook his head. We were standing in his (our) bedroom.

I rolled my eyes. “Then one of us is sleeping out there,” I said.

“You can sleep alone, Alina.” The Darkling said. “For tonight.” He bent his head down taking my lips in a kiss that left me gasping.

“Sleep well.” He said, closing the door.


	5. Chapter 5

We set off for the Shadow Fold early, riding comfortably in the Darkling’s carriage. We could only take the carriage so far before transferring to the skiffs that allowed us to cross the fold. I sat quietly in the carriage. I still had many questions to ask the Darkling but I knew I wouldn’t get my answers until we were there.

Suddenly a thought struck me, and I turned to the Darkling. “You told me before that to destroy the shadow fold I’d need an amplifier,” I said. “And you’d been looking for one for me.”

The Darkling nodded.

“But,” I said, “You don’t want me to destroy the shadow fold, you never did but still you searched for an amplifier,” I said.

“Just ask your question, Alina.” The Darkling said.

“Do I need an amplifier for whatever you need me to do to the Shadow Fold?” I asked.

“Yes.” The Darkling said, “But not the one I’d originally thought.”

“What?” I asked, confused.

“I’m your amplifier, Alina. It’s part of who we are, together.” The Darkling said.

I fell silent again. I knew something big had changed between us after the night we’d spent together.

The carriage came to a halt and the Darkling helped me down. We boarded a skiff and began to make our way through the Shadow Fold.

I could hear something in the darkness and the Darkling gripped my arm. I could feel my power growing.

“Now would be a good time to explain,” I said into the darkness.

“Do you remember last time when you were here?” The Darkling asked. “The volcra were swarming but then they disappeared?”

“Yes,” I said, thinking back to how Alexei had been taken by a volcra and how I’d thought Mal and I were next.

“That was your doing Alina.” The Darkling said. “Your light kills them.”

That was what I was there to do, I realized. If the volcra were all gone the Darkling could use the Shadow Fold again.

“Why?” I asked.

“With the shadow fold, I can finally protect Grisha.” The Darkling said. “You saw what the Fjerdans were willing to do to you. They would try you as a witch and burn you.” The Darkling said. “Shu Han would experiment on you and Kerch would have you be a slave!” The Darkling burst out. “I can use the Shadow Fold to protect you, to protect Grisha.” He said.

I stared at him.

“Think about all the good we could do, Alina. We could bring peace, we could stop the wars and the fighting, we can save the Grisha.” He said.

I paused. I thought back to what I’d heard when I was with the Fjerdans. Ruben had wanted to kill all Grisha, not just me. And there were more like him I was certain. As much as I disliked the royals, pretty tricks and serving the army was a small price to pay for safety. But now the Darkling was telling me that wasn’t required anymore. With the Shadow Fold Grisha could actually be free.

I’d made up my mind.

“Ok,” I said. “I’ll help you take back the shadow fold.”

Though I could not see his face, I’m sure the Darkling smiled.

On the way back to the Little Palace, the Darkling told me his plan.

“I need to show everyone what you, what _we_ can do.” He said. “It will end the war, but people need proof.”

I nodded at that. We’d return in a few days’ time, bringing advisors and ambassadors from Fjerda, Kerch, and Shu Han.

“I want to _end_ the war, not continue it.” The Darkling had said. “I just want to scare them a bit, so they’ll leave us alone. They’ll know what will happen if they continue to hurt Grisha.” The Darkling said, menace in his voice.

“Yes,” I said. “They will.”

I stood on the bow of the skiff, shivering in anticipation. The Darkling had made true on his promise and ambassadors and the king’s advisors were lined up next to me. Although it was dark, I could feel how nervous they all were. They had no idea what was coming. The Darkling stood next to me, his hand gripping my arm so I could call the light. Members of the Second Army were lined up behind us. Ready for anything.

The sweep of the volcra wings broke through the silence. Someone screamed.

“_Now_,” The Darkling whispered. And I unleashed a flash of light.

The volcra reared back in pain, before vanishing.

“More,” The Darkling said into my ear. I could feel my power growing expanding. I cast it outward, far from the bow of the skiff. The Shadow Fold lit up and I could hear the Volcra screaming.

The Darkling stiffened next to me. My part was over. He had control of the Shadow Fold.

“Thank you, Alina.” He said quietly.

The ambassadors were looking at me in awe.

“No more volcra?” One questioned.

“Will the Unsea be passable again?” Said another.

“The Sun Summoner!” The Darkling announced, gathering back the attention.

The ambassadors clapped but soon stopped.

The Darkling had control of the Shadow Fold and was slowing causing it to expand.

“What – what are you doing?” Asked an ambassador, worry evident in his voice.

The Darkling did not respond.

“Stop!” Said another. “You can’t do this!”

“Oh, but I can.” Said the Darkling warning heavy in his voice. “For too long your countries have treated Grisha badly, you’ve killed them, experimented on them, forced them to be slaves for your own petty purposes. But now, that ends.” The Darkling continued. “No longer will you treat Grisha that way.” He said and pushed the Shadow Fold further.

“Stop!” I cried. “You’ve made your point!” I let out a blast of power. Part of the shadows receded.

“They need to _pay_ for what they’ve done.” The Darkling said. I was suddenly glad of the darkness, no one could see me rolling my eyes. All of it was a bit theatrical.

“And they will,” I said. “They won’t come back to Ravka, will they?” I asked, the gathered ambassadors.

“No, no!” They all hastened to say. “We’ll leave, we’ll leave all of you alone.”

“Good,” I said. I turned to the Darkling. “That’s enough now,” I said.

The Shadow Fold receded back to where it had started.

The Skiff docked on the other side and the ambassadors hurried off.

“Remember,” The Darkling said. “Remember what will happen if any of you come back.”

The Darkling and I made the return trip across the Fold. It was surprisingly peaceful without the volcra. The second army and the king's advisors stood silently behind us.

The Darkling held my hand.

I turned to him.

“Let’s go home,” I said and he kissed my palm.


	6. Epilogue

5 years later.

“Aleksander!” I called and the Darkling looked up from his desk, where he was pouring over papers.

“It is such a nice day out. Genya and David have invited us for a picnic.” I said.

He smiled. “You go. Perhaps I’ll join you, later.” He said.

I sighed. “Come with us. Ravka won’t fall apart because you took a break.” I laughed, tugging at his arm.

He smiled. In the 5 years since our “demonstration” Ravka had only known peace. The king was still king but it was truly the Darkling who ruled from his shadow throne. The Second Army has been disbanded, Grisha were free, finally. With the Darkling in control of the Shadow Fold, he kept out Fjerdans and Shu Han. Kerch had become an ally and they stopped using Grisha as indentured servants. The Darkling was working on a peace treaty with Shu Han and was hopeful they could come to an understanding. The Fjerdans would probably never come around but Ravkans had accepted that. Even so, there was no more war and no more Grisha deaths.

“Don’t you want to see baby Alya?” I asked. Genya and David had the cutest little baby girl, named after me.

“Alina.” He said, but there was no heat in his voice.

“Fine, fine.” I laughed. “Come out when you can,” I said, walking towards the door.

“Oh yes, I heard from Baghra, she’d like to see us soon,” I called behind me. It had truly been a shock when I learned that Baghra was the Darkling’s mother. She’d returned home to her cottage near Os Kervo. She’d known what would happen when the Darkling and I finally got together and knew I’d no longer needed her teachings.

The Darkling sighed. “My mother keeps asking if we’re going to be ‘adding to the family’,” he said. “So meddlesome.”

I laughed. “She means well,” I said.

“Yes, I know.” The Darkling said, looking down at his papers.

“I’ll see you later,” I said.

The Darkling stood up. “I guess I could be distracted for a little while.” He said.

“Thank you, your highness,” I said, slightly mockingly.

“What kind of shadow king would I be if I didn’t make my queen happy?” He said and kissed my smiling mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at gracefelly


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